Location: Sunglass Hut
Airport: Houston George Bush Intercontinental
Situation: 3-hour layover
Need: Who doesn’t need a new pair of sunglasses?
Scenario: As a rule, guys aren’t supposed to shop for sunglasses; we’re supposed to just have them. So when a salesperson approaches, he should do so with caution. In my case, I got a “So what brings you in today?” Innocuous enough, but here I am, trapped behind the TSA lines with nowhere else to go for THREE hours. It was raining outside, however, so perhaps his question was actually asked sincerely and with some surprise. Who’d want sunglasses on a day like this, anyway? Knowing I was supposed to, I turned to the right first when I entered. That area to the right, the salesman told me, was the designer lines. The more classic styles were behind me, he told me, blocking my path to the designer lines. Fair enough, I probably didn’t want to see the designer lines, anyway. Once my eyes lit upon the classic styles, an interrogation ensued that thoroughly covered all my past associations with eyewear. What shape? What color? What brand? Who was he to learn all this about me? Suddenly, the thought of spending the remainder of my three-hour layover in the gate area, squinting, seemed far more appealing that answering a salesman’s questions.
Location: Store whose name I can’t recall for the life of me but sells seemingly nothing but headphones. (NB: Make sure your store name is memorable enough that no one ever calls it “Store whose name I can’t recall for the life of me but sells seemingly nothing but jewelry.”)
Airport: Chicago O’Hare
Situation: Killing 2-1/2 hours before a flight
Need: None whatsoever
Scenario: So I’m looking at rows upon rows of iPod headphones they have in this place. They range in price from, like, $14.95 to at least $379.95, from the prices I can see, anyway. No one’s helping me, and I’m overhearing the two salespeople talk headphones (what else?). But it’s rather nice they aren’t bothering me as I’m reading the pros of each model of headphone. One of the salesmen breaks away from his conversation about headphones to comes talk to me about what else? Headphones. He doesn’t ask if he can help me, though. Instead, he says, “It’s really confusing that there are so many brands and prices and models, isn’t it?” I nod.
“We have every model available to try on and test. You should hear those ones you were just looking at and compare them to some others. It’s cool to hear the difference.”
Well, who doesn’t want to be cool? (Particularly if I don’t have new sunglasses to wear.)
So I tried out nearly every headphone they had in the place, because he just kept handing me one after another. And lo and behold, it wasn’t long before I whipped out my Visa and plunked down $100 or the second-best pair of headphones I’d ever heard ... because no matter how good a salesman he was, I still couldn’t justify spending $379.95 on a pair of earbuds.
Location: Brighton Collectibles
Airport: Fort Myers Southwest Florida International Airport
Situation: Killing 2-1/2 hours before a 6:19 a.m. flight
Need: More sleep
Scenario: Salesperson: “Can I help you?” Me: “No.”blog comments powered by Disqus