Noted, Ralf. I still like it and a few others I did, so I'll pass along the ones I wrote that got tossed into the trash bin:
- Never watch West Side Story with a group of pawn dealers. A dance-off will inevitably ensue, and jewelers never win that matchup.
- Celebrities are great in the store when possible. But just say no to Lindsay Lohan.
- Attention Male Jewelers: Don't do your Matthew McConaughey impression from when the actor pitches "Frost Yourself" as a sales campaign for diamonds in the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. It's not cute and will not work for you because you are not as good looking.
OK, now that I'm done with that, here are a few that did make the cut:
- Rule 438: Smells in order of desirability: fresh flowers, fresh cookies, and fresh man-sweat from your bench jeweler.
- Rule 872: There’s never a right time to say the word “Correctamundo!”
- Rule 54: Every drink you give a customer increases the likelihood of a sale by 10 percent. But it also increases the likelihood of a return by 15 percent.
- Rule 257: Never pre-judge a customer. Unless that customer is wearing a Metallica T-shirt. Then it’s OK.
- Rule 189: Folger’s is for clerks. Kopi luwak (civet cat coffee) is for closers.
- Rule 65: Leave nothing on the floor. Especially not that dropped California roll.
Now we're looking for some more good ones. And since Ralf is not interested in anything further from me, I'll pose the question to a more talented group: You guys! Comment below to let us know:
What are YOUR Rules for Jewelers?